dont know why, i'm so gloomy today. feels like my life is hard which is silly cause my life is soooooooo flat. as flat as flatshoes *lah* feel empty inside, feel so emotional for no reason and get offended for every trash talk that i read or hear. gosh I feel like weirdo right now. I get insecure for something that will happen in the future. who will I be? what life I'm gonna live? will I ever do my dream job?
I get sad and blue all day for nothing, I dont even in a heartbroken. it just feel so wrong when you have no love, it is like 'what am I doing here?' 'why cant I get butterfly in my stomach?' I sees people everyday with their romances problem. single or not. ldr or friend with benefit. and I'm sitting there. listening their stories, giving advice while my mind is screaming out loud like Axl Rose. 'what am I doing? look at them, wonderful or pathetic, they have stories. and you dont have even just one!'
I also get offended for everything. am I need anger management? or people should have do-not-piss-me-off management?
so, reality bite. should chew it harder. like I always said "when life give you lemon, put that lemon in a bowl, pour some water, and make it kobokan." yeah that's right. kobokan.

insecure

banyak hal yang aku mau tapi ga bisa aku dapetin. setiap kali merasa down karena hal ini, aku meresapi lagi quote terkenal mick jagger (kalo ga salah ya) 'you cant always get what you want. but if you try sometimes you might get what you need' jadi yang bisa aku lakukan cuma berusaha sebisa mungkin buat dapetin hal itu. born to run everything lah istilahnya. aku ga bakal cerita disini daftar keinginanku itu apa aja, tapi aku selalu inget itu, terpampang 5 cm di depan kening kalo kata Zafran dari film 5 cm.
tapi manusia pasti ada keterbatasannya. ibarat pacaran, sekarang ini aku lagi ditahap jenuh jenuhnya, dan semua kejenuhan itu muncul akibat akumulasi rasa insecure yang keluar gegara omongan beberapa orang. omongan yang bikin semua rasa percaya diri yang susah payah aku bangun bertahun-tahun hancur luruh berantakan kayak kapal meledak. #UdahItuAja